Now, it's Robin's turn
by SwarklesisOTP
Summary: Finally getting to the Swarkles-stuff ;-). Robin has to fight for Barney- and Ellie of course. Really appreciate it when you read my Story, you guys are awesome! ENJOY!
1. Chapter 1

AN: My first fanfiction and English is not my mother tongue, so please be kind. Hope you like it. Would mean a lot to me, when you tell me what you think, so I know, if I should continue with this story.

He is standing in front of her appartement again. He is holding the blue french horn again. He is looking at her with his puppy dog eyes again. He is hoping to get back together with her – AGAIN.

But this time she has not the strength to refuse. She can´t go through this another time. After all, she has to be happy, when someone loves her. Even if it´s Ted. Even if it´s a man, she doesn´t love. She always wanted to be a famous journalist, traveling the world, not needing anybody. And after all, she got what she wanted: she became a famous journalist. But not even that: along with that she found a man who loved her unconditionally, who supported her, who traveled the world with her. But that was too much. She pushed him away, because she couldn´t handle it anymore. She had so much work in the different countries, but Barney never held her back. He never complained- instead he always waited with a smile on his face, ready to hug her, kiss her, tell her how great she does her work every day. However, after a while, she got frustrated. She felt guilty because she had everything and Barney had to give up his work for her. So she only saw one way to escape from that feel of guilt: pushing him away. She worked harder than ever, told Barney she was too tired to go out, too tired to go on some great adventure. She had barely time for him anymore and he started his blog again because he was bored.

It went like this for over a year until that crucial day in Argentina. Barney never minded traveling with her when she has been „his Robin". When she was herself. But this new self of her- only working, always telling him he doesn´t have to travel with her- got on his nerves. And then the fight escalated: there was no proper wifi-connection and Barney was furious and frustrated. It wasn´t about the wifi- it has never been. It was about her. She had changed. She had pushed him away all the time, had stopped telling him her work-stories, had stopped enjoying the different cities with him. And now she shouts at him and blames him because he wants proper wifi, so he can go on with his blog? Then Robin proposes to give him an out. Tears shot into his eyes, but he takes it. She doesn´t want to be with him anymore, she is fed up. He feels like a burden to her, so he takes the out. Sleeps with her one last time. One last time where they both cried, clinging to each other, not wanting it to end, but neither of them says anything, so Barney packs his suitcase and goes back to New York. They divorced.

In 2029 Robin was sent back to New York. She has traveled for almost 15 years now and accepted the job offer as newscaster in New York. She loved her job so much, but she has been on every continent and feels the urge to settle now. Back in New York she looked for an appartement and bought some dogs again, because she felt so alone. Marshall and Lily were all busy with their children and their jobs and she didn´t see Ted and Barney often either. Ted invited all of them to dinner with Penny and Luke once in a while, but the dinners always seemed forced because nobody knew what to talk about. And Barney, he was never coming anyways. Robin missed him so much, every part about him: his inappropriate jokes, his smile, his beautiful blue eyes, his soft hands, his tight hugs, his stories – just everything. However, since he had Ellie, no one saw him that much anymore. Lily and Marshall seem to talk to him sometimes, but Ted has no contact with him anymore.

Ted only seems to cling on her. At the rare dinner-evenings Penny and Luke always push their father towards her. They never get tired to assure her, how much Ted talks about her and yes, it´s kinda cute of Penny and Luke, but she feels pretty awkward every time they start with that topic again. Although Robin likes Penny and Luke and thinks it´s sweet they want their father to be happy, she guesses there is another reason behind their pushing: they´re teenagers now. They want to hang out with their friends and experience some great stuff themselves instead of listening tot he stories of their dad. And she can imagine, Ted must be really clingy, especially when Tracy passed away. Robin is also pretty sure, it have been Penny and Luke again who finally got their dad to run to her and stand in front of her appartement with that horn.

So, now he is standing there, clearly wanting to tell her about his feels. Her answer is a smile. A smile full of pain, because she pushed the love of her life away, a smile full of doubts that she will ever find a man again if she sends Ted away again. That´s why she allows him to come up to her appartement, to let him tell her, what he wants to say.

Ted is ridiculously happy that Robin lets him in. They sit down on her couch. He gives her the horn, declares his love, looks at her lovingly and she just smiles because she isn´t really listening. Then it´s silent. „Shit, that must have been a question.", Robin thinks. But Ted, oblivious as always, asks again: „I never stopped thinking about you, that´s why I kept the horn all the time. And I want to know, what´s about you- do you think about me sometimes too?" Her mind drifted away once again: „Of course, I have. But not in the way you might want me to. I thought about the gang in general. One time in Rio I saw a guy running around with a butterfly tattoo on his shoulder- that reminded me of you. But most of the time, I think of you when I miss Barney, because then I ask myself why the two of you aren´t talking anymore and why he isn´t coming to the dinners." Deep down, she knows, she should say these exact words to him. But, she doesn´t. Instead she says: „Of course, I did. I also have kept the locket." (He doesn´t have to know the story behind her still having the locket- he would surely not like it, because it´s connected to someone, he surely doesn´t want to talk about now. His name starts with a B.). Ted laughs full of joy now, grabbing her, intending to kiss her, but she jumps from the couch. Ted is confused and Robin knows that wasn´t the wisest choice when she wants him to keep him around, so she doesn´t have to die alone, but she can´t kiss him. Every part of her body cringes when she just thinks about it. So she whispers: „Oh, wait Teddy-boy. Not so fast. Don´t you want to see the locket?" He doesn´t care about the locket right now, but he also doesn´t want her to throw him out of her appartement, so he agrees. He waits in the living-room while she goes into her bedroom looking for her locket.

She opens the box where she kept the locket and gasps in shock when she doesn't find the locket, but a small piece of paper instead. Written on it were the following words:

Back in the day,

when you thought I was away,

I gave you a key,

and the story started of how you came back to me.


	2. Chapter 2

When she reads the words a silent laugh appears. The game! The awesome, funny and enjoyable game. THEIR game.

*Flashback*

Their flight was quite uneventful and they arrived at their wonderful beach hotel in Belize. They checked in and were ready for their hotel room- the honeymoon suite of course. The second the door was closed, Barney was all over her. He kissed her passionately and she joined it. Eventually they landed on the kingsize bed and rumpled the sheets. Soon, all the clothes were flying around the room, when Barney suddenly stopped.

„What´s wrong?", she asked, pulling him against her again. „Do you really have to wear that thing when we´re in bed?" he muttered, meaning the locket around Robin´s neck. „Why what´s wrong with it?" „Hmmm, let me think…maybe because Ted found it for you and now it stares at me." „Awwww, is Swarley getting jeaous?" „Stop that, it´s not funny. I know, he´s Ted- he probably just searched for the locket to give his life some point, but still. He´s your ex-boyfriend and I would appreciate it if you take it off." „I hope you know, you´re acting stupid, but I will take it off, if you want me to." „Thank you, Scherbatsky… oh wait, Stinson of course. I need to get used to it." „So you know what this was…?" „What do you mean?" „Our argument…" „Oh my god, this was our first argument…-„ „…-as a legenmarried couple!". They awwwwed together and laughed. Barney said:"So, what now, Stinson? What about great make-up sex?" (They already slept together as a married couple as soon as they could disappear for a second at their reception). „You´re an idiot", Robin smiled and they made good use of their hotel bed.

In the afternoon, they decided to explore the beach near their hotel. It was a wonderful one, with white beach sand and a blue, clear water. In addition to that it was a pretty quiet place and they were almost alone. The only people joining them on the beach were an older couple and some teenagers which seemed to be inhabitants. They swam a little bit, though it was more like going around in the water. It was kinda late and the water was pretty cold, so they clinged on each other to keep each other warm. Suddenly Robin felt some item in Barney´s board shorts. When she asked him about it, he pulled the locket out of his pocket. „What the hell are you doing with that, Barney?" „Ähhh… hoping it will get lost in the sea?" Robin pushed Barney away from her, tramping out of the water angrily. Barney held her back, telling her to wait. „What is wrong is with you, Barney? Could you please just let it go? I married you, not Ted! I don´t love him, you know that. He helped me find the locket, yeah, but that doesn´t mean I´m keeping the locket because I miss him or because I think of him. I buried it at my first visit in New York. It just reminds me of my teenage years. This is our freaking honeymoon, Barney, so could you stop it?" „Look, Robin, I´m sorry. I really am. I´d just feel better, if the locket reminds you of me not Ted. So, I thought we could make a little game out of it. Whenever we travel, one of us hides the locket for the other one, giving some hint of the whereabout. This way, I can find it for you, much more times than Ted did. Great idea, huh?" „Barney, come on, you´re childish…" „Oh, am I? I though we love challenges and games. It´s what turns us on… So what do you think?" „Okay, or as my crazy husband would say: Challenge accepted!"

*end of flashback*

They really played that game their whole marriage- except the last few months. She kept pushing him away, so she also lost interest in the game and Barney had too. At least she thought so, now she knows, she has been wrong. He still played the game, she was just too obnoxious to keep on their little tradition. He placed that piece of paper with the hint right in the locket box, waiting for her to make the next move. She never did. Instead she signed the divorce papers.

This night, she finally realizes, she was the one that gave up on their marriage, that she was the one who mistreated Barney. Now she knows it´s her turn to fight for Barney.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hey guys! Thank you so much for your Reviews, I´m so glad you like it. I hope you keep them coming! I swear, I will get to the point where Barney and Robin actually talk to each other and figure things out, so please stay with me. Oh yeah and I don´t own himym (my bad, because if I own it, the finale would´ve been very very different and swarkles would still be together), the Avengers or Finding Dory. Just in case.**

**Hope you enjoy the new chapter!**

She knows exactly where Barney´s hint leads to. She grabs a pair of key (yes, she still has this pair of keys too- she´s wondering about herself when she became the person clinging on things which remind her of the past) and wants to go. When she goes back into the living room she´s startled. She forgot Ted- oops. He sat there in high anticipation.

„Did you find it?", he asked.

„What do you mean?" she shot back, though she exactly knows he means the locket.

„The locket, you know, you just went in to the bedroom looking for it. Is everything okay, you seem kinda confused?"

There they were again, the puppy eyes. That guy is over 40 now, can he please stop with that look? When she first came to New York she found this look kinda cute, though scary. Now, she´s just annoyed by it.

„Ähhh, no. I though I knew where it was, but I can´t find it. Sorry, Ted."

„Oh no problem, most important thing ist hat you´re here. And I´m here. We´re here together.", he said pointing tot he place on the couch next to him. „Come here, Robin, there are much better things to do then find the locket."

Robin gulped. Nooooo, every part of her brain and heart screams. When has this guy became so creepy? He comes here with the horn and immediately wants to jump at her. Help!

She sat down on the couch anyway, though the voices in her head began a huge fight. One voice screaming at her, she can´t refuse him again, if she doesn´t want to end up alone, the other one chatting her up to throw Ted out of her appartement and go looking for the locket. It was a fight between head and heart. Robin despised herself fort hat, but once again her head was screaming louder.

„You know what, Ted? I´m aware we know each other since forever, but we should take this slowly, don´t you think? What about going on a date first? We could go to the cinema watching a new film, the new adaption oft he Avengers, maybe? I heard the new Maria Hill is not as good as the one back in 2012, but still."

She really hoped he would say yes. Cinema was perfect. She doesn´t have to talk to him and she will order a bucket full of popcorn, so everytime he tries something, she can eat a hand full of popcorn. Perfect plan and to her relief he agreed.

They went to a late presentation oft he film and Robin bought every snack she could get there. Ted wondered about her sudden appetite, but hey, he had a date with Robin so he doesn´t mind. Ted excuses himself to phone Penny and Luke and Robin looked around the cinema. She knows this one very well.

*Flashback*- 2015

They were pretty drunk and yeah, this was nothing special for both of them, but it was only 2 p.m. They were still jet-lagged because they just came home from their latest trip and decided to go out in New York. Barney and Robin went to MacLarens first, which was pretty empty because, as said before, it was 2 p.m., Most people were at work or had other things to do, the both oft hem were lucky. They chose a different booth this time- the one in the corner where nobody could see them. As exciting as traveling was, but there was nothing like the scotch at MacLarens for them. So they ordered a whole bottle along with some fries. Soon, a second bottle followed and Robin became more and more handsy and they enjoyed some handstuff under the table. Usually, they could do much more alcohol before getting so drunk, but as they were pretty jet-lagged too, they were completely over each other soon, giggling like teenagers.

Carl came over to them, kicking them out of the bar. They were pretty childish that day, so Barney started whining like a little kid when Carl ordered them to go out. Robin took some fries, throwing them at Carl: „Look, what you did to my poor husband. My Barney-Barney-Barn… Take this Carl." Carl pushed the two of them away: „Gosh, you two are drunk. Go out of here or do I have to call someone to get you?" Barney snorted: „You´re so lame Carl, when did you get so lame? R-Train and B-Nasty are here, bringing some awesomeness in your life and you want us to go. And no, whom do you wanna call? Lily and Marshall? Ted and Tracy? Oh please, they just lecture us. Come on, Roro, we go before too many lame people destroy our awesomeness." „That could never happen, Swarles. We´re too cool. Bye, bye, Carl. You throwing us out is your loss." The two of them stumbled out and Carl shook his head- those two have really found each other.

Out of the bar, they started kissing wildly while stumbling through the streets of New York. They ran into many people, but they ignored everybody else, just focusing on one another. Robin suddenly stopped. „What´s wrong baby?", Barney asked confused.

„Where the hell are we?"

„Ähhh, good question. No idea."

„Great, we´re lost in New York."

„No, we´re not! Look, there´s the cinema."

„Barn, that´s not THE cinema, it´s A cinema. I have never seen that before."

„It´s the one not far from your old appartement, don´t you remember?"

„Are you sure?"

„Yes, I am. OH MY GOSH. LOOOOK!"

„What the hell? I can´t see anything. Whaaat?"

„Finding Dory is in the cinemas!"

„Ähhh, you´re kidding me Barney, aren´t you?"

„That´s an awesome film if it´s only half as good as Finding Nemo!"

„It´s a movie for kids… Veryyyy funny, but for kids. And it´s 2:45… there will be only kids in there. We should come here later, if you want to see it."

„Noooo, come on. We´re already here!"

It went like this for a couple of minutes (mostly because both oft hem had a little bit trouble with speaking cause oft he big amounts of Scotch before) until they decided to watch the film.

They were sitting in the cinema with about 20 other people. All of them parents and their kids. Barney and Robin soon got attention. It started when they stumbled to their seats, Robin falling once and Barney landing next to her when he tried to help her up. They giggled and giggled and some parents were already looking angrily at them. Next, they realised, they forgot their 3D-glasses on the toilet, but decided not to get them, so they don´t get in trouble with the parents. It couldn´t be that bad without the glasses- and for Barney and Robin it wasn´t. They barely paid attention to the film anyways, making jokes about the looks of the fish and the animation, creating their own dialogues which made them giggle and laugh even more. The parents tolerated everything until they started to make out wildly. Some mother hissed at them to „behave like adults", which Robin indirectly answered with crawling on Barney´s lap intensifiying the make-out-session. That was too much for the mother. She stormed out informing some employee- and they were kicked out of the second place that day. But they don´t care, cause still, it was one of the best days of their lives- Robin and Barney against the rest oft he world.

*End of Flashback*

She´s is still in thought about that awesome, crazy day, when Ted comes back and hauled her out of her lovely bubble.

Ted and Robin go to their seats and watched the film. The movie was kinda cool, but she couldn´t really enjoy it. Ted tried to grab her hands every now and then and when she finally gives in, the handholding´s just really awkward. At least for her- Ted seems to be oblivious to the awkwardness going on between them and glimpses at her full of admiration once in a while. As soon as the movie is over he grabs her hand again, bringing her home. In front of her door, Robin has no other chance and has to endure Ted´s kiss. He holds her tight, clearly wanting more from her, but she finally pushes him away, says she is tired now. Ted goes back home and Robin´s alone again.

She quickly grabs the key for the storage and hails a cab. The hint was clear: Back in the day, when you thought I was away, I gave you a key, and the story started of how you came back to me…- the storage. She thought she had lost him when he announced his engagement with Quinn. It meant a lot to her, when he gave her the key to the storage where he stored all the things connected with their relationship. She cried so much that night at the storage when watching all the pictures of their happy times. She finally realized, she was not over him at that point, that she needed him, that she is more than jealous of Quinn. Her love for him was stronger than ever and after their engagement on the rooftop of the WWN building, she told him about her fears. Her biggest fear being loosing him forever. He answered: „You´re the only one who´ll never loose me. You´ll be the one I love forever." It was unexpectedly cheesy for Barney, but she didn´t care- it was the most beautiful thing she ever heard. But then she lost him, pushed him away and now she isn´t the one he´ll love forever anymore. He has his daughter now, he maybe even has a new woman on his side now.

Robin arrives at the storage, opening it for the first time since about 20 years. But the open door reveals so much more stuff than years ago. Barney seemed to have put every stuff from their life together here. Then she saw it: a small shelf where the locket is- along with Barney´s wedding band. She takes it in her hands, sinks on the floor and cries. She cries about Barney, about their friendship, about their marriage, about all the other ones, she never gets to see those days, about her having to date Ted, if she doesn´t want to die as a lonely woman who´ll get eaten by her dogs.

She cries about everything she has lost.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Hey guys! Thank you so muchfor your Reviews. As some of you asked me: don´t worry, I know it doesn´t look like it at the moment, but my fic totally ends up with Barney and Robin together- you can be sure of that. I also try not to be too mean to Ted. Idk how to feel about this chapter, it´s not that good, but I thought I upload it anyways, so you don´t have to wait any longer. Next chapter will focus on a Swarkles-talk, so stay tuned (it will be intense and also kind of heartbreaking I think, but I hope you´ll stick with me). So have fun with this chapter, read and review please! Love you guys, thanks for your support!**

She doesn´t even know how long she has been crying at this point. She sat in the storage in the middle of the night mourning about how her life went the last few years. She´s been so happy once. Now everything that´s left from her happy life, especially her happy married life is stored in boxes. Boxes full of memories.

She finally stands up, wipes away the tears and opens a box. Her body experienced another shiver of tears when she sees the content – a box full of wedding photos. They seemed so happy back then, so content. Robin takes her favourite one out of it: It´s a pic of both of them, she sitting on his lap with her wedding dress. He whispered something in her ear and she laughed. His words have been: "Now, we are Mr and Mrs Possimpible."

She goes through some more photos and suddenly, she has kind of a flashback: Her, sitting in the storage, looking at pics of her and Barney madly in love- how ironic, she thinks.

When she starts opening some other boxes, Robin realizes Barney must have got rid of ALL of her stuff. Everything was in the storage: her Canada mugs, their wedding gown, the tie she bought him for his birthday (along with every other birthday present she ever bought him as she realizes), all of the photos, even some bed sheets were in there. She also finds a cologne- no, not any cologne: the one which Robin loved so much on him, some old T-shirts… so basically everything she forgot at their appartement or which are emotionally connected with her. It was pretty clear, Barney doesn´t want to be reminded of her. A few more tears run down her cheeks: "Why? Just why? We met each other some times after our divorce… he acted as always. We split on friendly terms. Why did he get rid of everything?"

Robin is really stunned and as the tears don´t stop falling, she decides to call it a night and get out of this storage full of feelings. She knows why she always had it in her mind to get back together with Ted and also told Lily Ted was the one she should´ve probably ended up with: It would never hurt that much. It wouldn´t rip her heart out. Ted loves her and would never hurt her- he couldn´t, even if he wanted to, because her feelings for him have never been that strong. She always loved and appreciated Ted as a friend, but after their breakup, he was always that back-up guy for her. The guy who will always wait for her, who will always love her, no matter what. Who would always be happy to do everything for her. He has been the nice possibility in the back of her head- the possibility of someone who gets old with her, when she will never find her true love. And then, she found her true love- but it was someone unreliable… Barney always had to much power over her. He knew her so well, knew what she was thinking, how she intends to handle situations. She first realized that they were on of a kind when she was his Bro that one night… but it really left her speechless when she wanted to move in with Ted and realized Barney knows her much better than Ted. Ted didn´t know she was smoking at that point, he didn´t know she was a gun nut… Barney did. And it scared her a lot. They were so similar in their behavior, in their thoughts and everything else- what was also the reason why Robin doubted she could trust him. He was too much like her. She hated feelings and she hated the thought of settling down- exactly what Barney hated. They were both lone wolves, but they learned how to work together. However, as time went on and she travelled the world, she feared Barney would dump her- so before he could hurt her, she decided to give him an out. A subtle way of finding out how he really feels- and he didn´t want her anymore, he took the out. Robin thought she can get over this and she did kind of a good job forgetting Barney when she traveled the world, but there always have been days where she thought her world will go down- until to this day. The worst of all has been the day- or better said, the night after Barney went away.

*Flashback*

She came home pretty wasted. Though the work kept her busy all day, the blonde, lovely guy aka her husband, well no, ex-husband didn´t get out of her mind. It was horrible. The only way to get out of -this emotional rollercoaster was getting drunk- and she did a good job on that. But soon, she felt pretty sick and the tears came out again. Most of the time, she forgot bad things after drinking alcohol, but to her bad, not this time. It got even worse. When a guy at the bar hit on her, she started crying like a baby. The confused guy disappeared as fast as he could and she stumbled to her hotel room. As soon as she closed the door behind her back, she fell onto the bed and cried. The tears didn´t stop and soon, her pillow was pretty wet. She scooted over to the other pillow. Unfortunately, that was the worst idea that night- it had been Barney´s and it still smelt like him. She smelt his cologne, his shampoo with which he washed his stupid wonderful hair and his dumb marvelous perfect blue eyes. Robin jumped out of the bed, pulled Barney´s bedding out of the bed and threw it through the room. She picked it up again, started to unzip the duvet cover and threw it out on the balcony. The next thing, she threw around were his shampoos in the bathroom. He didn´t take them with him, so his suitcase wouldn´t have too much weight. Robin probably woke up the whole hotel, but she didn´t even care. When she found some paper, she ripped it. She continued running around destroying things which reminded her of Barney. When she heard a knock on the door, this was the first thought that popped into her mind: "Maybe he is back. He hasn´t given up on us." Tears of joy were forming in her eyes when she opened the door, but in front of her wasn´t Barney, but an employee of the hotel. He asked her to be quiet because some people had already complained. She promised to be more quiet and her anger disappeared. All that was left was a bigger heartbreak than before: he really went home, he left her, he took the out. She cried the whole night.

*End of Fashback*

She doesn´t like remembering this scene. She was so heartbroken, but also pretty pitiful. That wasn´t her. She is strong, she doesn´t need anybody- the problem is, she doesn't want to end up alone either. Her struggle before, where she realized she had to fight for Barney was gone. HE left HER. And he never tried to win her back. He signed the divorce papers without even talking to her about it for a second time. She starts getting really angry and decides what she thinks is best for her: "I will start a relationship with Ted, getting old with him, so I don´t have to die alone. I´ll make him very happy. But first I´ve one thing to do: Talk to Barney. He took the out, he left me, hit on girls in front of my eyes and put all my things or the stuff that probably reminded him of me away. He got closure on me- I deserve that too."

Robin arrives at home and goes to sleep. The next day, she goes to work (where she barely can keep her eyes open because of the long night) and heads to her appartement immediately after work. She calls back Ted who left her about 200 messages, eats something and changes clothes. Then she searches for Barney´s new address on the internet and hails a cab to his place, ready for her closure.

She hasn´t even the slightest clue, how far away her closure is.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Me again! I'm sorry, but I swear next chapter will clear up some things! I wanted to post it in this chapter, but then the "introduction" to their talk was far too long. Not that much happening, hope you like it anyways. Thanks for reading and for reviewing! 3 enjoy**

She stands in front of his house. Her heart beats fastly and she hates herself for that? Why does he still have such an enormous effect on her? Robin takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. A girl at about the age of 10 with long blonde hair and blue eyes stand in front of her. She gasps- she totally forgot about Ellie.

„Hello, can I help you?"

„Hey, I´m Robin. Your aunt Robin actually. I wanted to visit you and your dad, how are you Ellie?"

„I think you´re not looking for me, I´m sorry. I´m not Ellie, but her friend. She packs some stuff to come with me, we´ll have a pyjama party."

„Oh, how nice, you´ll sure have a good time. …..Ähm could you get me Barney, ähm Mr. Stinson?"

„Mr. Stinson isn´t there yet, but he should come every minute."

„Oh, okay, maybe I´ll come later and…"

„No, wait I get Ellie."

„No, seriously…that´s not necess…."- but the girl doesn´t even wait for her to finish the sentence. She runs back into the appartement and calls Ellies name.

As Robin already thinks it can´t get any worse, a young girl appears… She has dark-brown hair, blue eyes and the sweetest face. Robin´s heart is racing now. Why does she have to have brown hair? Damn, she looks like a little version of the girl she imagined back when she discovered she´s infertile. Ellie looks like she could be Barney´s and her daughter. „How awesome, this makes things far more easy.", Robin thought. Not enough that Barney has a kid, he also has a gorgeous kid, but the worst: he has that kid with another woman, not with her. With a bimbo, a dumb one-night stand. Her dear Barney who told her he doesn´t need kids as long as he has her. Now she´s been replaced. She´s not his number one anymore, she hasn´t been for a long time now. This girl has his heart now.

„Is everything okay? Can I help you?", Ellie asks her and Robin comes back to reality.

„Oh hey, Ellie. I´m aunt Robin… you don´t remember me, do you?"

„No, not really. I´m sorry."

„It´s okay. Me and your dad were…äh…we were good friends, but it´s a long time ago. I didn´t expect you to remember me."

„Glad you´re not mad, but… why are you crying?"

Damn it, she didn´t realize that she has tears in her eyes. Ellie looks at her questioningly with her big blue eyes.

„Sorry, I´m not crying. Not really. It´s just..it´s been such a long time. I missed your dad and haven´t seen you in such a long time. That just got me thinking."

„I see. Do you want to come in?"

„Thanks, Ellie. I just wanted to talk to your dad. I´ll come back later."

„But he´ll be here any minute. And I´m not leaving for about another half an hour, so please come in."

„Thank you, you´re a really sweet girl, Ellie.", she says and goes into the appartement.

Ellie leads her into the living room, where she says Robin to sit on the couch.

„Just wait a second, okay? I have to go back to Michelle and to my room to pack my things. It won´t take long. Don´t go away, yeah?"

„Okay thanks."

So she sits there all alone, all uncomfortable in Barney´s new appartement. But it´s not only his new appartement… she landed in his new life. The whole flat looks so… domestic. Not at all like Barney. The walls are white, but that´s the only uncoloured thing in the living room. She sits on a big fat and cosy red couch, nice light-brown shelves everywhere. And, what wonders her the most, little stuff is lying around everywhere. Little boxes, little figures, lots of books. It´s as if Barney now has an appartement which ist he exact opposite of the one he had before. She has a lump in her throat again and a bitter feeling spreads in her whole body.

Suddenly, Robin heard the door. „Hey, girls, I´m home. I brought some pizza." It was Barney. Her heart races and her hands start to sweat. Now, the moment is here. Barney comes into the room, looking at her as if she is a ghost. „Robin?", he questions. „Yes, it´s me. Come on, I look a little bit different, but don´t act like you don´t recognize me properly."

„What are you doing here?", Barney frowns.

„Hello to you to, Mr. Sensitive…."

„You´re sitting in my appartement without any warning. What do you suppose me to do?"

„I´m sorry. I just wanted to see you and most of all, talk to you. It´s been a long time."

„And honestly, I thought I´ll never see you again."

„You thought what? Don´t you want to see me."

„It´s not about what I want Robin, it´s about what I thought. And I thought I don´t have to see you again."

„You don´t HAVE to see me again? I´m sorry I´m causing you so much trouble.", she replies angrily.

„I´m sorry, okay. What do you want? You said you wanted to talk to me, so here I am, what´s wrong? Anyone dead?", Barney asks her coldly.

„Okay, I don´t know, but what exactly happened? As far as I remember, everything was okay the last time we saw each other. We said our goodbyes in a friendly way. I come to visit you years later and instead of offering me something to drink, or asking what I have done all the years or at least asking me how I am, you don´t look me in the eyes and act all mad. What have I done?"

He stares at her coldly. As he opens his mouth for an answer, suddenly Ellie comes in. „Hey, dad. Great, you already found Aunt Robin. She wanted to surprise you. Melissa and I are ready, I have packed all my stuff, so I´m ready for her mum to pick us up. I already phoned her. She´ll be here in about 20 minutes. Enough time to eat some pizza." Ellie along with her friend Melissa sits down on the couch next to Robin and both oft hem pick a big slice of pizza. They chatted with Robin about how school is like and what are their hobbies. Barney sits near them on a comfy chair and doesn´t say anything all of the time. When Robin starts talking about her job and tells that she travelled all around the world to report the news, Ellie suddenly blurts out: „That´s why your face seemed so familiar! You´re this newscaster I saw you sometimes on TV! I really liked your reports, I would´ve watched them everyday, if dad hadn´t been so bored all the time. He always complained about how boring all kinds of news are. He wanted to watch Spongebob instead. I swear, sometimes, he´s far more childish than I am" Robin looked at him, tears forming in her eyes again… She thinks she might knew another reason why he never watched the news. As this thoughts come to her mind, anger comes along with it. He packed everything away in a storage and didn´t even watch her reporting the news. She always thought he was different. That he isn´t going to be the grumpy ex-husband.

All of a sudden, they hear the doorbell ringing. It was the mom of that other girl- Robin has already forgotten the name of this child, cause her anger and sadness is all what is in her head now. The girls leave for their pyjama party and Barney and Robin are alone again.

Neither of them says anything at first, they are just looking on their shoes. Finally, Barney speaks: „So, I know now how are you doing and what you have done over the years, as you told Ellie everything. I´m fine too. As we got over the nice little small talk now, I´ll just say this to you: You have my blessing."

„I´m sorry what? I have your blessing? What the hell do you mean Barney?"

„You can be with Ted. Date him. Marry him. Make him happy- make yourself happy. I don´t care. It´s your life, we divorced about 14 years ago. We haven´t seen each other for years, I don´t even speak to Ted anymore, so do what you want and leave me alone." He shouts at her angrily.

Robin eyes him astonished and pretty shocked…


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Hello, my lovely Readers! My chapters always get longer than I intend to, so I´m sorry I´m not as far with that story as it should be. I hope you´re not bored already. So, enjoy the new chapter and please leave some Reviews!**

Robin refuses to go. She doesn´t understand anything. Why does he know about her and Ted? She was supposed to talk to him to get HER feelings straight not Barney´s. But now he is standing there screaming at her, she should leave.

„Barney, wait. Wha… Could you explain me why you tell me to get to Ted?"

„Stop acting like you don´t know what I´m talking about. Ted told me."

„Ted? Ted told you? You just said you don´t talk to him anymore…"

„I don´t talk to him usually, but he phoned me yesterday and told me about you two."

„Okay, wait. I wasn´t in New York for years. Now please, tell me why you and Ted don´t talk anymore and why he phoned you to tell you about us."

„You should ask him. Robin, please. I can´t do this anymore. I want to forget everything. I want to move on. Please go."

„No, I won´t ask Ted, because I asked you and I want to know from you what happened.", Robin says desperately.

Barney lets out a big sigh, lets himself fall on the couch and starts to explain: It was about 1 and a half years after Tracy´s death…

*Flashback*

Barney rings on Ted´s doorbell. After a few seconds, Ted opens.

„What do you want, Barney? I didn´t invite you over."

„I want you to go out again. With me. Tonight."

„No."

„Oh come on! You don´t even have to suit up! You should shave though…."

„Haha, very funny. No. You know, I don´t want to meet new women."

„I didn´t even mean you should go out with me to pick up women or be my wingman. You are just so down since Tracy´s death. I know you loved her, but you barely leave your house anymore. It´s almost 1 and a half years ago! You have to go on. If you don´t want to do it for yourself- do it for Penny and Luke. They want a happy father too."

„I don´t want to Barney!", he almost screams

„Okay, okay. You don´t have to. Can I come in? We can talk."

„If you want. Come in. But no matter, what you do, you won´t convince me to go out."

They went into the living room.

„Are Penny and Luke there?", Barney asked.

„Yes, they are in their rooms. We had dinner before, but they immediately went into their rooms afterwards."

„Oh, I see."

An awkward silence spread in the room.

Barney finally started talking again: „Ted, look. I´m worried about you. You don´t go out anymore. And I don´t mean meeting new women with that. I barely see you anymore. Neither do Marshall and Lily. We can go for dinner sometimes. Or to the movies. Just don´t hide in your house all the time. Life goes on."

„Barney, listen. I appreciate your concern, but I´m fine. Don´t push me, okay?"

„I try. But it´s such a long time now. As your bro I have the duty to make your life as awesome as possible."

„No, you don´t have to. Barney, I lost the mother of my kids, my soulmate. I LOST THE FREAKING LOVE OF MY LIFE AFTER LOOKING FOR HER FOREVER! IT´S NOT FAIR."

„Wow, Ted, calm down. I´m sorry… It´s just- if someone understands you, it´s me."

Ted snorted, „You. YOU? Why should you of all people understand me? You have to explain that, buddy."

„I lost my soulmate and the love of my life too.", Barney says quietly in a sad tone.

„You don´t speak of Robin, don´t you?"

„Of course, I mean Robin. What do you think?"

„You compare me loosing my wife to you and Robin divorcing? Are you kidding me? Do you even understand the concept of love?"

„I know, Robin didn´t die and as she´s still somewhere traveling around the world, it´s not that tragic, but I lost her. She lost interest in me, she ignored me. If you look at it my way, we both have lost our wifes involuntarily."

Ted broke out into hysterical laughter, „Are you fucking kidding me, Barney? You loosing Robin involuntarily. YOU, the lying, childish husband who took the out because of wifi, who didn´t fight for his wife- YOU of all people tell me we have both lost the love of our lives. You don´t even know what love means!"

„I don´t know what love means? I loved Robin to death, I still love her, I would take her back any minute if she…"

„YOU DON´T LOVE HER! You´re a womanizing idiot. I saw Robin first, not you! She would´ve been mine if it wasn´t for you. She fell for your schemes, for your plays. I still can´t believe it to be honest… A strong, independent and clever woman as Robin falling for a guy like Barney Stinson. That´s a joke. You whole love was a fucking joke. She fell for you, don´t ask me why, and you took advantage of it!"

„I DID WHAT? I NEVER EVER TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HER! The first night we slept together, SHE made the first move. SHE kissed and grabbed me. SHE asked me to come to her flat in the first place!"

„Oh yeah, of course, she did. You know what, Barney? You´re so pitiful. A man who tells lies his whole life until even he himself believes it…."

„This is no LIE! She made the first move. I loved her!"

„Stop, Barney! If you really loved her, you would be with her!"

„No, I wouldn´t be with her. Because I´m not you, Ted. I respect her."

„What the hell do you mean with that?"

„I mean that you almost forced her to be with you. She told you back when you met, she doesn´t like commitment, she doesn´t want to have a relationship etc. But you kept pushing her. You almost harrassed her. You got lucky, she finally fell for you. Me, Lily and Marshall seriously considered to send you to therapy, because you were kind of obsessed with her!"

„Oh yeah, of course. I harrassed her- are you kidding me. If someone harrassed her, it has been YOU!"

„You never let go of her, Ted! You might think it´s romantic to fight for someone you think is the one, but to be honest, it´s only creepy."

„I can´t believe you, Barney! You…"

„I can´t believe YOU, Ted! After all these years you still say I didn´t deserve Robin anyways and that you saw her first and blabla. And now you´re even saying I forced her to love me, when you have been the only one who did that. You ran after her until she finally dated you – I didn´t make an actual move on her. I wanted to sleep with her once, but when she told me no, I respected that and played battleship with her. When we actually slept together, SHE made a move ON ME!"

„I don´t want to talk with you about that anymore! You don´t know what a romantic gesture is, you don´t know what love is. You and Robin married because of the sex. When she wanted to run away with me on your wedding, I had to convince her that she loved you and you loved her. Deep down, she knew it back then, that it was never love. It was a challenge, it was about sex. It has never been about you, Barney, NEVER."

Barney swallowed hard. Robin wanted to run away with Ted on their wedding day? She had doubts so bad, she considered leaving him at the altar? She once again had doubts maybe Ted would be the better choice after all? Barney stood up and without saying a word he left. This has been the last time he talked to him in years- until yesterday, when he phoned him..

„Go for Barney."

„Hey, Barney, it´s me Ted."

„What do you want? Is Marshall dead?"

„What noooo. Why should Marshall be dead?"

„Because you called me. We didn´t do that talking thing anymore, remember?"

„Yeah, I remember. I also remember why you didn´t talk to me anymore. Because of Robin, because I told you it has never been true love between the two of you."

„Has that call any point, Ted?"

„I was right."

„Right with what?"

„Robin always knew deep down that I have been the better choice. We are getting back together. I took the blue french horn again and rushed to her new appartement yesterday, she is living in New York again, by the way. We are together."

„Great for you, bye." – He ended the call before Ted could say another word.

*End of Flashback*

Barney ended his story.

„Are you happy now, Robin? There you have your great story. Go back to the love of your life now."

„I´m not here to ask you for your blessing."

„What else do you want?"

„I want to get closure on the two of us. I can´t be happy with Ted as long as I know there is this blonde friend of him whom I was married to and whom I loved once."

„How should I give you closure, Robin? When you believe Ted- and I actually do believe him at this point as you are back with him now- you never really loved me. Ted has always been the right one for you. Can´t give you anymore closure than that. There was no love between us."

„This isn´t true, Barney."

„Ted told me that years ago. You wanted to run away with him… so please leave me alone now."

„It was wrong of Ted he did told you that. I didn´t want to run away with him actually. I had really bad jitters and doubts, this is true. I told Ted I have to run away and he should come with me, but he refused and I ran away alone. But then I met Tracy and she calmed me down, then I saw you, you made this sweet vow and I forgot all my doubts. It wasn´t about running away with Ted, it was about my commitment problems. Which you should understand best!"

„Still, you want to be with Ted again."

„I don´t want to be alone and Ted loves me, he is a nice guy and will do everything to make me happy."

„You still think he is the ultimate nice guy after what I told you? About what he said about our marriage?"

„I´m sure he didn´t mean it that way! He was still sad about Tracy and you, the biggest womanizer on that planet told him he feels the same way…"

Barney shook his head and interrupted her, „You´re unbelievable. After all these years, after our relationship, after our marriage, you still defend Ted? Why is he always the nice guy who can never do anything wrong? And why am I always the jerk?"

„I never said you´re a jerk, Barney. I know you have a soft side…"

„But still Ted is the hero in this! He can do nothing wrong. He can sleep with as many women as he pleases as long as he is talking shit about finding the one. This seems to justify everything. He is the romantic guy, he is every women´s dream. Everyone will choose him over the cold-hearted womanizer!"

…and the argument was on.


	7. Chapter 7

**_AN: Hello guys! first of all: You're the best! Thank you so so so much for your nice reviews- they keep me writing and inspire me! Please keep them coming... And speaking of that we come to the second point: This chapter took me a lot of time (it's also the longest one until now), but I think there are far too much personal impressions of the whole story in there. I so hope Barney is not too much out of character, but I had to get all of this stuff out of my system. Please tell me what you think! Any critism (whether good or bad),proposing improvements, rants about the finale, anything is welcome. I read every single Review and try to improve my writing, Thank you so much! Xoxo_**

"You know this isn´t true, Barney! I chose you over Ted! You were just fed up with me!", Robin says, her voice beginning to shake.

„Oh come on, Robin! Do you really believe this yourself or what? You only see the good things on Ted and the bad things on me. I can´t even blame you for that. Everybody does!"

„What do you mean?"

„Think about it, Robin"

„Think about what? Yes, you did bad things over the years, but me, Ted, Lily and Marshall- we always loved you for that. and…" Robin just wanted to start telling Barney why he is such a lovely and entertaining guy, as Barney´s hysterical laughter cut through it.

„You guys LOVED me? I should believe you that? You guys never loved me, you didn´t even accepted me, the only thing you did was to bear me. I´ve always been a burden to all of you. But you know what- it isn´t important anymore, there has never been anyone who loved me for me or at least try to understand why I´m the way I am.", Barney gulps hard and turns his face away from his ex-wife.

Robin realized the pain in his voice- why did he say things like that? „I always loved you for being you, Barney, I always did. It´s not fair to blame me for not loving you enough… that´s ridiculous!"

„Is it, Robin? Is it? Just think about it.", he faced her again, „through all these years I did anything I could to make you happy. Even before we dated! But you, especially you, the only person I ever really loved, pushed me away and shattered my heart. Do you know how…"

„I KNOW, Barney! I know you did many sweet things for me and I always appreciated them!"

„Would you please hear me out? Could you just once don´t interrupt me and let me explain you my story?"

„Your story? This isn´t going to be another fake history lesson, isn´t it?", Robin chuckles, unfortunately, Barney doesn´t find it that funny

„You know what, Robin? I told you before, I can´t do this anymore. I want to forget. So if you just came to make jokes of me and rub into my face that you want to be with Ted again, then you fulfilled your challenge. Then please go now."

„Come on, Barney. What is wrong with you? Since when do you take everything so seriously? I was just joking…"

„Oh yeah of course you think it´s weird I´m serious, I´m just a dumb womanizer who hasn´t any feelings. I can´t change. I will be always damned to that stupid role of a womanizer, because everybody refuses to see something else in me."

Robin doesn´t say anything, she looks at him and she feels a little sting in her heart, when she sees how unhappy and desperate Barney´s words are. As soon as she wants to open her mouth to say something comforting, Barney seems to have an emotional breakdown- all the words technically spilled out of his mouth:

„I always tried to fulfill everyone´s wishes, to make everyone happy and proud of me. But most of all, I wanted someone to love me. My mom was awesome, but she never really cared for me when I was a child. She was far more occupied with tramping through the states, being a flower girl and bang as many men as possible. And my dad… well you know about that. My dad didn´t even bear me for some years. It was more important to live his own life, to abandon his son. He could at least visit me, but no. He left me- as everybody else did. Don´t you think that says a lot? That even the two people in the world who created me and who were genetically preprogrammed to love me, even them had better and most important things to deal with. James always tried to be a good brother- and he is, but he has his family. He has a life- he has people who love him. Tom even forgave him that he slept with other men! And me? I can´t even hold my wife and make her love me when I travel with her around the world and support her in every way possible."

Robin doesn´t even recognizes, that a tear falls down on her cheek as he says these words. She knows all of that, she knows he was hurt by that. But everything seems to be different. He never told it that way- with that tone in his voice. She makes a move, wants to stand up and comfort him, but he is going around in the living room like a nervous lion in his cage and continues:

„As I grow older, I was a nerd. I´ve always loved magic and when I met Shannon and she became my first girlfriend I thought I finally found someone who loved me. But, as always I was wrong. She cheated, as you sure remember. That was my turning point. I finally accepted that no one will ever love me. There will always be someone better than me, Someone, who knows how to make a woman stay. So, I changed- I got awesome which means I blocked all feelings. I used the girls the same way, I´ve been used by Shannon. You surely think it´s weird, but in a way I always thought I show all these girls a good lesson: trust nobody, don´t share feelings, cause everybody who means something to you will leave you. Of course, there were you guys, my friends, but if we´re all honest with each other, we know you wanted to get rid of me all of the time."

Robin gulped and wanted to interrupt him and tell him what a stupid thought that was, but he didn´t let her speak,

„Don´t even try to talk this out of me. I´ve always been a burden to Ted. Not once in my life he told me that I´m his best friend. I tried to ignore it, act as if I´m Ted´s best friend, but everybody knew that´s not true. Everybody eyed me in a pitiful way, most likely thinking, what a wrecked creature I must be. Now he tells his kids, he doesn´t even know why he hung out with me that often- he is ashamed of our friendship. And Lily and Marshall- well that´s a marvellous story too! I did everything possible to bring them back together- to be honest, it was kind of selfish too, because they were the one and only couple who portrayed real love me. They supported each other, put each other first and loved each other unconditionally. I didn´t want to watch this getting destroyed, so I kept all girls from Marshall and flew to San Francisco to get Lily back. Now, somebody may think, they appreciate me for that or anything, but no. As always, I continued being that insensitive jerk in their eyes. Whether Marshall telling Ted, they don´t want another Barney on St. Patrick´s Day or Lily, who I even let move in with me, would choose immediately you after our divorce. It doesn´t count that I´m a friend of her too, she says without even thinking about it, she would choose you instead of me. To be honest, I wasn´t even surprised anymore. But you know what makes me real sick? The fact that Ted didn´t do anything! He let Marshall cry in his arms, but that was it. He didn´t even try to get them back together. He told Marshall to forget her and called Lily a Grinch… nice, isn´t he. And as soon as Lily was back and discovered this nice nick-name it was all about him again. Poor Teddy-boy was hurt because Lily didn´t phone him- that´s his reasoning. Forget Marshall, Ted´s important again. So Lily was mad at him, but not for long- he listened to her once back in the day when she talked about some oven and everything is okay again. He doesn´t even have to apologize, because Lily did. Ted, as always is the romantic hero who can´t do any harm."

He does have a point, Robin thinks. She listens to Barney carefully and is really touched by his words. All these years, they didn´t realize that Barney is truly offended by their actions. More tears are falling now. She feels so sorry for him and it hurts her badly, but what takes her breath away and breaks her heart into pieces are the following words:

„Years went by and though I was hurt sometimes, all in all I was happy. I already built my own world, being able to ignore all of this shit most of the time. But then it happened. My big downfall, my titanic, my big mistake that broke my world: You."

Barney takes a deep breath- he is stuttering like a fool now. He damns himself because his tears are a little waterfall by now. But then, he looks at Robin- a second waterfall looking at him.

„I slept with you once and fell in love with you- hopelessly and irretrievably. First, I ran away from my feelings, then I did everything to spend some time with you- I fell in love with you more and more everyday. Then, our secret summer happened and to be honest, these were the happiest months of my life. We didn´t define things and some may think because we didn´t take it seriously or anything, but the truth is, we´ve just been ourselves. We both knew, we didn´t date other people, but we didn´t stick on that boyfriend/girlfriend- thing. So both of us commitment-phobics felt good with it. However, the others find out and they watched us all the time. It has been too much pressure and we broke up. Most of the time, I could ignore the heart-wrecking feeling that crawled up in me everytime I saw you, but then I realized how much you suffered because of our broken relationship. My only challenge then, was to make you happy. I thought you couldn´t be happy with me, so I did it without you noticing. I don´t know if you remember our gang´s crazy race, but anyway, I knew you need a win, so I tackled Ted, just to make you smile. We grew closer and closer as friends and I couldn´t have asked for a better support in the whole Arcadian thing. You defended me against the others, you were on my side. I know, I never showed it, but you can´t even imagine how much that meant to me, Robin. Finally, there was somebody who believed in me, who supported me. That was awesome."

Robin snorted and lets out a deep sigh afterwards, at least she had done anything right.

„I should´ve told you that long before, so… I realized you were pining for me when I was with Nora. But I thought it´s better for all of us and would save us the trouble. Oh yeah, I do remember: „With you the trouble doesn´t seem so troubling"- boy, I didn´t know that it´s actually you who would cause me the most painful trouble of my life. Anyway, I thought we were done, but that one night when Marshall slapped me so bad you proposed to share a taxi with me and take me home. We were sitting in that taxi and don´t ever try to tell me anything else, YOU started the conversation about our almost kiss. You heated the situation and we landed in bed. I guess, I don´t have to retell the whole story. You know it ended with no girlfriend and an enourmous heartbreak for me. You chose Kevin and I have to say, I still remember that fucking pain. But I couldn´t stay away from you. I still wanted to be friends with you, afraid of loosing you, cause after all, you were the one who understood me best, even though you didn´t want me. And here comes the next thing that I will never understand: I though it´s good that a couple can stay friends after a break-up. Still, Ted was the poor one when you rejected him. You told him you don´t love him and Ted ignored you for some time after that. But again, he is the saint. Me, having actually slept with you, in contrary to Ted, continued trying to make the best out of our complicated situation. It was awkward, but it worked most of the time. Until I couldn´t shake the feeling there is still something between us. You were so sad when you thought I destroyed every evidence of us being a couple so I could be with Quinn. And the last chapter of our story started…

The storage. She just has to ask him, even though it means she has to interrupt him. „Why are all the things, even the one that are only slightly connected with me, locked away in the storage?"

„You´ll see.", is everything he replies to her question.

„I wrote the play,we got engaged, we were happy. Our time as fiances was great and our wedding was legen…, you know it was a cool weekend. As our honeymoon and our years as a married couple have been. Then you pushed me away, we divorced. I´m aware that you know all of that stuff, but what you don´t seem to know is that I truly loved you. Every one of my words I said to you have been true. When I let go by a day, without talking to you, that day´s just no good. And wow, there have been a lot lately. I can´t stop loving you anymore than I can stop breathing. All of this was no lie and still isn´t- that´s why I put all the things away. I couldn´t throw them away, but I can´t keep them anywhere where I always see them either. I`m sorry, but the only way is to not see you, to get you out of my mind. I think I did a great job on that the last few years and I don´t want everything to get destroyed now."

Robin gasps… Does he really never wants to see her again? Of course, she didn´t see him much, but she always felt that she could visit him if she wants to.

„You have been my life, Robin. My whole world revolved around you… Sadly, you preferred to revolve the world without me. I don´t want to live in the past anymore. I try to remember all the good times, for example the one time in Florence… you know what I mean", he winked.

A smile makes it´s way through Robin´s tears and Barney realizes it, „See, Robin. That´s exactly what I meant. I would have done everything to get you out of your sadness and all I wanted was an honest smile from you. That´s why I ran to basically every news-cast, every tv-programme, just so you can stay in the USA back when you almost got deported. Gosh, I was so crazy for you, I would´ve married you right away back then, just so you can stay in the country. While Ted did nothing, by the way. I throw that rehearsal dinner in canadian style for you, hell I even accepted that there are awesome things coming from Canada. I wrote that whole play for you, just to win you back, I burnt the Playbook, I was willing to give up my appartement. I bought you puppies! I bought them for you, cause you had been so sad, back when Ted wanted you to give away your dogs. Another example, where I have been there for you, not Ted. He was acting selfish again, just thinking about him and his feelings. I know, it´s a bad comparison though, but what if you had had kids back then? They would have been from your ex-boyfriends too! As said, I know you can´t compare children with dogs, but still…"

Barney takes a deep breath now,

„So, all I want to say with that story is that you, the person who meant the world to me, who I thought is my soulmate and understands me no matter what, who will be the Lily to my Marshall, who I thought got the soft, messed up and disappointed guy underneath that womanizing, rough skin, you of all people broke my heart. You have been the first one I trusted after a long time- ironically, you´ve also been the last one I ever trusted. I thought with you I don´t have to wait for it anymore… as it turned out, I ´ll have to wait forever. Nobody will ever be proud of me, like me as a whole or even love me. I know, Ellie does and she´s my everything now. She showed me that there´s still something what´s worth living for. That little bundle of joy who trusted me and loved me unconditionally. I know, she´ll find love sometime in the future and her old dad will be not that important anymore. However, what should I say anymore, I´m used to be the second choice now."

He finally ends his story and exhausted of spilling out all his feelings he has abandoned for all these years, he sits down on the couch.

„I´m sorry", Robin whispered, her voice cracking.

„It´s okay, forget it. Should I ever meet someone again with whom I fall in love, I will steal them a green trumpet or a purple violin. As it seems, you can do everything for the woman you love, but nothing will ever compare to a douche stealing you a coloured instrument. I learned my lesson."


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: I´m soooo sorry. I always told myself I will never be one of those guys who lets her Readers wait. Unfortunately, I had little time these past days (yes, I know, lame excuse). I try to update at least once a week. Sorry, if you waited for it (and if you did: thank you so much for reading my Story and waiting for a new chapter, I love you guys). I also had a Little struggle how to continue with this Story. I hope it´s not the wrong way. Enjoy! (and Review, please :) )**

Robin knows it´s surely not the best decision concerning the circumstances, but she can´t hold herself. She shifts to Barney and gives him a big hug. She has never been that touchy feeling person, but Barney needs that right now. He needs it the same way as she did, back when she told him, she can´t have kids. Sure, all of the others were sweet and nice as well, but Barney´s gesture has been the most comforting effect. A wordless hug, a sign of compassion without the force to talk that out. He never defined her over whether she was the woman who loves kids or not, whether she wants a family or not whether she wants to settle down or not. He loved her for the person she has always been- the independent, cigar-smoking, scotch-drinking gun nut who was always up for some dirty jokes or some laser tag.

Barney doesn´t break the hug, but he doesn´t hug her back either, so Robin is sitting next to Barney having her hands draped around him. Just as it starts to become pretty awkward, Robin has to let go of him because something startled her. It´s a sweet little bundle of fur suddenly running into the living room.

„Ahhhh, oh my god, what is this?", Robin asks.

„Oh come on, Robin, I know you travelled around the world, but don´t tell me you forgot how dogs are looking. Besides that, I´m sure they have dogs in other countries too!", Barney softly chuckles through his tears.

„Awwwww look how sweet it is! Is it yours?"

„Yeah, kind of. It´s Ellie´s to be exact. We were making a trip and landed on some weird farm one day. Ellie fell in love with that little guy immediately and so we took him with us."

„He is so sweet, a little labrador, right? How old is he…or she?"

„It´s a boy. His name is Brody."

Robin smiles, „Of course, first Brover, now Brody, makes sense…"

„And he is only 8 months. I guess Ellie has accidentily locked him in her room. It always takes him a little while to jump on her board and then on the door-knob to open the door"

Robin laughs again, „Wow, he can do that? So funny. One of my dogs is about as four times as big as Brody and he has problems with going down the stairs or something."

"You have dogs again?"

"Yes, I do. Five of them to be exact."

"Cool, hope your aunt is still alive and still has her farm. She will soon have some new friends to welcome there.", Barney says sarcastically.

"What do you mean, Barney?" She knows exactly what he means. When she gets back together with Ted, he may insist on giving the dogs away again.

"Forget it. I´m sorry. Some sadistic part of me always tries to hurt some people, but it never works anyway. For that, people have to care about me- as nobody doesn´t, I can make jokes and sarcastic comments as much as I want."

Robin starts to get angry now. What is wrong with him? One second, she can joke around with him and feels some vibes from the old Barney- her Barney- and in the next second he mourns about the lack of love from everybody. And this is bullshit.

"So you really think, you never hurt me, Barney?", Robin asks him in a shaky voice.

"Robin, look, I´m sorry, forget it. I shouldn´t have said that."

But Robin doesn´t seem to have listened to him, "YOUR opinion always meant very much to me. Because of you I I realized that Argentina Robin is a complete freak, because of you I applied to jobs where they probably laughed after I went out of the auditioning room, because of you I cried my eyes out so often I can´t even count that number anymore. You hurt me so much after our breakup, you hurt me so bad when you said you threw all evidence of us being a couple away. But none of these things hurt as much as when I get to know you´re going to be a father!" Robin is really mad at herself. She has always been so strong. Now she is at Barney´s appartement and her emotions have gone totally crazy. One second she is angry, then she cries, then she laughs, then she cries again.

"It hurts you that I´m a father? You never wanted kids, so why do you care?"

"WHY I CARE? Are you fucking kidding me, Barney? When Lily phoned me to tell me you knocked up some woman, I was a mess. It felt like a thousand punches in my stomach. I didn´t come to Ellie´s birth because it hurt too much. And when I came back for Ted and Tracy´s wedding you told me you don´t feel that way for me anymore. Another person has replaced me. You have been so happy, you told so much stories about the little girl, you were so proud. I felt like I don´t mean anything to you anymore."

She looks at him and sobs, "Do you have any idea how much pain it caused me to see that the thing you needed for happiness in your life, the thing that changed you was A KID. The only thing I could never give you."

"Robin, do I really have to remind you, that it has been YOU and ONLY YOU who pushed me away in our marriage? That it has been YOU who gave me an out? You weren´t happy anymore! Believe me, I was okay with never having kids. It´s true that I love my daughter more than anything in this world, but when I told you that I don´t need to have kids in my life, that I only need you, I meant it. I really did. I have been so happy in our marriage until you decided that I can´t be happy with you and started to push me away. I had the feeling you don´t want me in your life anymore, so I went out of it. I lost you. If you had listened to me back then, if you hadn´t changed, I swear, Robin, we would still be together. Sure, there would have been ups and downs, but we would have overcame them. After I lost you, it was my luck to get Ellie- otherwise I´d be a weird loner now."

Robin wants to say something, but is interrupted by Brody´s whining.

"Okay, Robin, look. I think this makes no sense anymore. We´re fighting in my living room, throwing things into each other´s faces that happened years ago. Plus, I really should take Brody for a walk. He is still struggling to control his bladder. I think you should go."

"Yes, maybe I should."

Barney, Robin and Brody go out on the street, where Robin tries to hail a cab.

Barney walks away with Brody, when Robin suddenly screams after him, "Barney, wait."

"Yes?"

"Could we meet each other again?"


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Hey guys! I hope you don´t hate me for uploading so unregularly lately. The finals are coming and I´m really busy, but I try to update as often as I have some leisure time. Such a short chapter, I know, but as an excuse I will post a new chapter at the Weekend. I hope you enjoy! As always your Reviews are very welcome!**

Barney hesitates and Robin feels ridiculously nervous. She is very released when he finally speaks,

"Robin, are you sure, you wanna do this? We haven´t seen each other for years and we survived it perfectly."

"I have survived it, but not perfectly", Robin mumbles. She spoke so quietly and he didn´t understand her, so she says, "I…Yes. I want this. I missed you. I thought we are friends after all."

"Oh yeah great friends. Friends who don´t see or talk to each other for years and where one friend doesn´t even take the time to visit the other friend´s child."

"Barney, come on. I´m sorry. I want to get to know Ellie. She seems like just a great kid.."

"She´s an awesome kid. The greatest on the planet"

"I´m sure she is, so I want to get to know her. And as I´m back in New York now-"

Barney interrupted, "You need your friends again or what?"

Barney sees how hurt she is and so he agrees, "Okay, you know what. We can see each other once in a while. I´m sure it will be nice. Awkward at first, but nice, I guess."

Robin smiles, they wave each other goodbye and Barney turns around to go for a walk with Brody.

Robin lies in her bed, as always overthinking every little detail. She had some unanswered calls from Ted on her phone, but she lets them unanswered.

She went to Barney to get some closure, but the opposite was the case. It has been so emotional, all the feelings coming up, hearing Barney´s point of view – as she thinks about the past, she realizes, they actually treated Barney wrong. Every single one of them. When she got to know him, she thought, as the others did, that Barney was just a weird and kinda sociopathic womanizer without any feelings. As the years went by she got to know him better and learned he has a soft and sweet side, but Barney was right: no matter what he did, she never appreciated his romantical gestures as much as she had done, if they had come from Ted. Not because she didn´t love Barney as much as Ted- not at all. If she´s honest to herself, she knows it has always been Barney who owns her heart. It was just that something deep in her always thought Barney did it because he only enjoyed surprises and lies and not for her. But he actually did- she knows that now.

Robin is still deep in thoughts when suddenly, her phone rings again. Ted- of course. Robin is kind of annoyed. It´s 1am! She grumbles, but accepts the call.

"Hey, Ted. What´s up?"

"Hey! I phoned you a few times before, but you weren´t there as it seems. I just wanted to ask you if you want to hang out tomorrow. You know and do some stuff… The kids aren´t home."

Oh my god, no. Ted tries to sound sexy, it´s pretty obvious what he really wants. What should she do? It´s not that she doesn´t like Ted, but she realizes it more and more every single second passing: she can´t be with him. She can be friends with him, but she can´t be actually be together with him. Yes, they were a couple once and maybe she loved him a very very very long time ago, but now? Over the years she developed kind of a brotherly feeling for him.

"I guess so…", Robin answers.

"Awesome. Can´t wait for tomorrow! Good night, Robin."

Ted´s enthusiasm scares her. He actually wants to be with her. He actually STILL seems to be MADLY IN LOVE WITH HER. Robin finally realizes she can´t do this to him. That would not be fair- neither to him nor to her... or Barney. She can´t get Ted´s hopes up high and then disappoint him again. After all he´s her friend and she doesn´t want to hurt him more than necessary. It wouldn´t even be selfish- cause it wouldn´t make her happy.

This night, she decides she´d rather be alone for the rest of her life than spend it with someone she doesn´t really love. She would make all people involved unhappy.

Robin curls herself up in her bed and she is falling asleep with a smile on her face, because she knows she´s going to do the right thing. She will talk to Ted before any more damage is caused and she will meet with Barney. With Barney and Ellie. And someday maybe….


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Hey! This chapter is about Ted and Robin finally figuring things out, so we can move on to the important things (swarkles ;-) ). So, i hope you enjoy. Please let me know, if I did exaggerate too much and/ or if Ted and Robin were halfway in character. Would mean a lot. Thanks for reading. 3**

To say Robin is just nervous would be a huge understatement. Her hands are sweating badly and her heart races. She arrives at Ted´s house and rings the doorbell. Ted opens almost immediately and waves her in. He seems to be pretty excited, he doesn´t even try to kiss or hug her. Ted gives her a glass of some wine and leads her to the living room. When she walks in, she can´t believe what she sees.

The whole living room is lit by an estimated amount of 300 candles, the floor full of rose petals and blue instruments are lying around everywhere. Robin can´t believe her eyes when she sees a blue piano. A really big FUCKING BLUE PIANO. She doesn´t know what to say or do, he just stands there really shocked. "What the hell is he doing? Oh my god, please someone tell me he is not going to…", she can´t even bring her thought to an end, because Ted is kneeling in front of her with a small box. Her eyes widened and he starts, "Robin Scherbatsky, will you…". But he can´t bring his proposal to an end because Robin interrupts him, "Ted, no, what are you doing. You can´t be serious. No, oh god, no, please stop!"

Ted´s smile fades away. Has he heard right? Has she actually said no? "Are you serious Robin? No? What do you mean with no?"

"What I mean? I mean that you should stop! We haven´t seen each other in years, we aren´t even properly dating and you propose to me? What is wrong with you?"

"Oh, so it´s suddenly a problem, or what?"

"What is suddenly a problem?"

"Engaging with someone you don´t even date. Sure, there is the possibility, I´m wrong, but as far as I remember you and Barney went from ´not even dating´ to ´engaged´ as well!"

"You can´t compare this Ted. This was a complete different situation!"

"In what way was that different?"

Robin sighs. She feels horribly, the whole triangle nightmare of her, Ted and Barney seems to come to a new level. She is so exhausted and tired of all of that.

"Ted, no, please, I don´t want to talk about that now. That was years ago and I´m tired of talking about this again and again."

"I knew, I should´ve asked you right away. It was so clear, you are overthinking again."

"So you think it would´ve been better, if you had asked me when you came with the blue French horn, I may had said yes and then changed my mind?"

"No, but you may would have agreed to marry me and then you wouldn´t have backed out afterwards. You wouldn´t hurt my feelings that bad to get my hopes up high for a wedding and then leave me alone."

"Then you would´ve been okay with marrying me while knowing I´m not happy and want out?"

"No, it´s just…"

"Ted, listen to me. You always rush things. You tell people you are in love with them on your first date and now you immediately propose to me! You are so afraid that a woman runs away from you, that you do everything to settle them down as soon as possible. There was only one exception: Tracy. You have been a normal guy with her, you let the things take their course. Because she was the right one. I´m just saying, maybe it indeed is a sign, I´m not right for you, when you have the feeling you have to make me yours because I won´t stay any other way."

"So with Barney it was the same? You didn´t work out because he proposed too fast?"

"No", she answers sadly, "you guys didn´t get everything between me and Barney. There were moments before, it´s complicated. It has jus been different, okay?"

"Tracy was the One.", Ted says out of the blue, feeling his eyes watering. "I can´t do this without her. I searched for the One for years, then I finally find her but loose her not much later."

"Ted, you had some wonderful years with her. More than some people ever get with each other.", Robin answers, not without thinking of her and Barney who were only given 3 years.

"Tell me why."

"Why what?"

"Why don´t you want to be with me?"

"I never said that I don´t want to be with you. I only said, I don´t want to marry you immediately."

"But you want to be with me?"

Ted gives her a look of hope. She knows, she will hurt him. If not now, it will happen sometime in the future.

"No. I´m so sorry, Ted. You know, I often wished I would love you the way you love me, but I just don´t. There where times, where I wanted me to want you, because you were the safer choice and I knew you love me so much, you would never hurt me. But things changed. I can´t change my feelings. Actually, I reminisced about the past a little bit yesterday and I realized, all the things happening can have many points of views. Even if you think someone will hurt you eventually and you should not be with that person, it can turn out that this one person was the one that not only tried everything to make you happy, but also changed for the better and would be the last one to actually hurt you. Even if all the others think this person can never change, you fall in love with him anyways and even if it´s not to be meant forever, you still can have the time of your life and remember every moment of it in awe. Because actually it has been the best time of your life."

Ted can´t help but smile, "Woah, what happened? The commitment-phobic Robin who always refused to talk about relationships changed into a wise life-guru."

"Oh yeah, life experiences had made me wise. Things I threw away without fighting for it are the reason for that I think. I only realized back in New York how much I wished I would´ve fight more and wish that moments back."

"You talk about Barney, aren´t you?", Ted asks, but not without sounding bitter, Robin recognizes.

"What? Why Barney?", Robin tries to talk her way out of it.

"Cut that, Robin. I knew you were with him last night."

Robin is speechless for a second. When she finally finds her words again, she says angrily, "What? Oh my gosh, he didn´t pull the same shit as you did when calling him and telling him we were back together, didn´t he?"

"No, to be fair, he didn´t", Ted says, not without recognizing Barney must have told Robin about his call.

"Oh, really? So how do you know?"

"Don´t get mad, okay?"

"I won´t if you don´t give me any reason to be mad."

Ted gulped, "You weren´t answering your phone and I drove to your apartment, but you weren´t there, so I did some research… and it actually brought me to Barney´s new home. Hope you had a fun night in bed with him."

"Okay, first of all: Don´t even try to make me feel bad about this, me and Barney didn´t do anything else but talking and secondly: HOW DO YOU DARE TO SPY ON ME?", Robin screams at Ted.

"I was worried, okay? I thought you may get back together with Barney. I tried to protect you. I didn´t want him to get you again and taking you away from me."

Robin is really angry now, "That doesn´t give you the right to turn into a stalker! And you don´t have to protect me! I have a brand new information for you Ted: Women are NOT mindless. They have a free will and can decide for themselves. I´m not anyone´s property. So stop talking like Barney is some creeper who wants to rape me. I´ve been with him because I WANTED to, I slept with him, because I wanted to do and I married him because I freaking wanted to. Yes, I had doubts at the wedding, I can remember that, but it was because as long as I knew you and the rest of the gang, you always warned me about the bad playboy Barney. You know what? Sometimes I had doubts about myself. I thought something is wrong with me, because in my eyes, he was actually a really good friend. Of course, his plays were really sick sometimes, but he never did anything intentionally bad to his friends. When I slept with him for the first time, you all treated me like some poor victim and Barney like the biggest asshole. Everytime, I came closer to Barney, I always thought about how you guys will react. Barney was mean to many girls, but he always treated ME right- and that´s the thing that counts for me. And to your information, you don´t own me. Nobody can take me away from you, because I´m not yours. I´m not a thing anyone can steal from you! I´m an independent woman who cares for herself!"

"Woah, sorry okay. You don´t have to scream at me. I just tried to prevent you from making a big mistake."

"A big mistake? How can you talk about him like that? He´s your best friend."

"Marshall is my best friend."

This line leads to Robin´s anger exploding, "I´M SORRY. Then, Marshall is your best friend. I don´t care. Even if he´s not your best friend, I always thought you were friends! Nothing gives you the right to talk about him like that!"

"Did he tell you why we don´t talk anymore?"

"Yes, he did and you´re an asshole, if that´s the only reason you´re not talking to him anymore."

"WHAT? He compared me and Tracy with your guys´ marriage! Me and Tracy were soulmates!"

"Me and Barney were too!"

"You were not! Your marriage would have lasted if you were!"

"You don´t even know what really happened, okay? But the main reason we actually parted was that we both thought we make the other one unhappy. WE ACTUALLY CARED FOR EACH OTHER`S FEELINGS! We just didn´t talk about them. Otherwise, we may….", Robin suddenly stops.

"Otherwise you may be still together, or what?"

"I don´t know."

Silence is spreading in the room.

"Do you want to be with him again?", Ted finally breaks the awkward silence.

"Ted, don't be mad, but I don´t want to talk to you about this. I swore myself, I´ll never let other people judge my life again and tell me what´s good or not or what I should do and what not. The only reason I came today, was to talk to you and end this thing. I think we just aren´t meant to be Ted."

"Okay", was everything Ted managed to say.

When he doesn´t say another word, Robin starts speaking again, "I think I should go now, huh?"

"Yes, you better. Goodbye, Robin.", Ted says sadly.

Robin walks out of the door. She feels kinda bad for him, but it´s the best for all of them.

Ted feels tears coming again when he´s sitting all alone in the living room. Once again, he lost Robin. The pain was as bad as always. He finally stands up and takes some photo albums out of his shelf and looks at them. He finds a picture of him and Tracy. Ted can remember the moment shown on this picture very well. It was their night out when they realized they finally know all of each other´s stories. One line comes to his mind: "Ted, I don´t want you to be the guy who lives in his stories." He finally realizes what she meant with that. He had good times, but they are over now. He should look into the future with his beautiful children and not living in the past. Ted closes the albums, smiles and thinks to himself, "She always knew me better than I did myself. She knew all along it would be a mistake to run back to Robin or to run back to my past of a forcefully-searching-for-the-one-creep at all. I indeed had a wise wife."

And after all, though nobody thought this day would ever come, Ted Mosby finally manages to keep the past as wonderful memories in his heart, but lets them go at the same time, concentrating on the future.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: More of a filler chapter, that´s why it´s pretty short too. Hope you enjoy it anyways. Reviews are very welcome, as always. ;-)**

She knows she shouldn´t think about Barney either, but that isn´t working as well as with Ted. She struggles with phoning him, but everytime she grabs her phone, something holds her back. If he wants to see her, he will phone her she thinks. Otherwise it has been her idea to meet each other again. But she´s the girl, right? So, actually it´s the boy´s job to call. On the other hand, he always loved her for her independence, so maybe she should call him. Robin sighs, what the hell will be the right thing?

When two weeks have passed, she realizes, either she makes the first step or she won´t see Barney again. When she thinks about it, she kind of owes it to him to make a move on him. Most of the times, he fought for her, now it´s her turn. After a few seconds of fumbling nervously with the phone and what seems like endless rings, Barney finally answers.

"Go for Barney.", Robin smiles. This is the Barney she knows.

"Hey, Barney, it´s me."

"Hey…", Barney answers questioningly.

"With me, I mean Robin."

"I know that you are on the phone, Robin. I´m just surprised you call."

"We decided to meet some time, remember?"

"Yes, I remember. But I thought you forgot about it or changed your mind. It has been two weeks, I just didn´t expect it."

"I…..ummm, I´ve just been busy."

"Good for you."

"Do you still want to meet?"

"Actually, it has been you that wanted to meet."

This has been kind of rude – if any other guy had said it. But Robin knows what is happening there. He plays with her. He won´t do anything. She has to fight for him now. For them. So she answers, "Right, right. I wanted to meet. Just wanted to ask if you have some time left for me anytime soon"

"It depends…."

"Depends on what?"

"What you intend to wear.", Barney answers jokingly.

Robin laughs, "I don´t know yet. Still torn between only heels or only a tie. What do you think?"

Both of them laugh. It´s almost as it has been before.

"If you want to meet anytime soon, I think you should dress properly, though. Cause I´m not free anytime soon, if you want to meet me alone. If you don´t mind seeing Ellie too, we could meet on Thursday."

"Thursday´s awesome", Robin answers really quickly.

Barney is a little bit taken aback, she seems pretty eager to meet him.

"Okay, fine."

"So what do you want to do?"

"Grabbing some food maybe. Or watch a film?"

"Sounds good. I´ll come to your place at 8 o´clock."

"Ummm, Robin, that isn´t going to work."

Robin turns white. What does he mean? As he kept her at bay when they last meet, she was eased that he mostly seemed like the old Barney when calling him. Was that a game to hurt her? To first be all nice and like the old Barney, HER Barney, just to turn her down.

When Robin doesn´t say another word, Barney says, "Ellie is only ten. She has to go to school the next day. I don´t want her to be awake too long. She should be able to concentrate at school."

Robin sighed of release.

"Oh, sure. I´m sorry. I didn´t think about that. You know I´m not so familiar with kids", she chuckles nervously, "Is 6 o´clock okay?"

"Yes. Sounds far better."

They end the call. Robin is very happy. She can´t even explain it, but she is ridiculously excited for their meeting.

Barney feels kind of uneasy. He hopes he has done the right thing. He wanted to stay away from her. It took him such a long time to not think about her every day. He tried everything to fill the big hole she left when they divorced. But as it seems, it isn´t as easy to keep Robin away. She seems very eager to meet him. After all it makes sense, he thinks, people always want things they can´t have. Or think they can´t have. He is just happy that Ellie will be there too, so Robin and him won´t do anything they may regret afterwards.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: The next one is longer, I swear! Just very busy atm, but I try to update soon! Hope you enjoy and Review if you have some time.**

Thursday has finally arrived. She decided to wear a nice jeans which fits her really well and a sweet blue tanktop with a white blouse. She looks pretty sexy, but also not too sexy, so it can´t be misinterpreted.

She knocks on the door of Barney´s apartement and Ellie opens the door. Ellie gives Robin a big hug. Robin is startled, but she finally hugs her back. "Dad will be ready in a minute. He is on the phone with somebody."

"Sure, no problem. How are you, Ellie?"

"I´m good and you?"

"Fine as well.", Robin smiles. She doesn´t know what so say any further, so she tries it with a compliment, "Your hair looks awesome today, Ellie!"

"Oh thank you so much. I decided to curl it today. Glad you like it, I did it only for you.", Ellie smiles

"Aww that´s so sweet. But you shouldn´t have done that for me- you´re a beautiful girl, no matter what. Even when you come with us with unwashed hair and sweat pants you may still be the sweetest."

Ellie chuckles nervously and blushes, "Wow that means something if it comes from you"

"What do you mean."

"You´re very beautiful. I want to have your looks."

Now it´s Robin who blushes. Ellie is indeed one of the sweetest girls on the planet. She never wanted kids, but she could get used to this one.

"Hey, Scherbatsky!", Barney suddenly appears.

"Hi, Barney", Robin says in a squeaky tone.

Holy what am I doing? Did I just squeaked at him? What the hell is wrong with me?

Barney recognizes her voice and chuckles. "Do you need a drink, Sparkles?"

"I thought her name is Scherbatsky?", Ellie interrupts.

Barney breaks out in laughter, "Oh my god, right Ellie. You don´t know this story. Not yet. Your aunt Robin…"

"Stop it, Barney. I think I should tell her myself. But maybe at our 10th meeting, so she can learn the awesome things about me before the shameful one.", Robin stops him.

"Oh pleaseeee, I want to know! Please tell me!"

"We should totally go now, shouldn´t we?", Robin tries to change the topic.

They finally manage it to go out and get some Chinese food. The three of them sit down in the corner of the restaurant where they have a nice overview of the whole place and the people coming in.

Ellie is pretty chatty the whole time and Barney realizes soon that she is very fond of Robin. She adores her. He barely gets to speak to Robin until Ellie has to go to the toilet.

"Oh wow, she really seems to like you. I´m jealous.", Barney smiles at her.

"I really like her too. She´s really sweet and adorable. And very chatty.", she chuckles.

"She usually doesn´t speak that much. I think she´s just exited. She has told almost everybody that she will get to know her aunt Robin who travelled around the world."

"It´s okay, really."

They smile at each other goofily.

"Why does she still have that effect on me. I promised myself not to get too close to her, but her smile, her face, her looks – everything is lovable", Barney thinks. He doesn´t know that Robin thinks very alike.

"Oh my god, I´m so nervous. I´m sweating. I wanted to talk to him the whole night and now I finally have the chance to, I smile like an idiot and I´m not able to think of one proper topic to talk about. Why does he make me so nervous? And he is much older now, shouldn´t he look less attractive?"

When Barney opens the mouth to speak, they get interrupted. But not by Ellie. They just hear one screamed "Awwww" and one kind of angry "Are you serious?".

Lily and Marshall are standing in front of them.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: I´m so sorry, it took me so long, but I have to study a lot for university at the moment, so I hope you can forgive me. **

**As always, I really enjoyed all your Reviews. They mean a lot to me. I hope you also like this chapter. Comments, good and bad, are welcome. It´s more of a filler chapter again, I hope I can produce a more significant one next week. Enjoy!**

"Oh fuuuuuck.", was the first thing Robin says. Barney just stares at them.

"What are you guys doing here? It´s so great to see you!", Lily squeaks.

"I wanted to ask you the exact same question.", Robin stutters.

"Marshall and I needed some time for ourselves, so we thought we pay a visit to good old New York."

Silence spreads – and Lily is the only one who doesn´t speak because she is uncomfortable but because she is so excited. The other ones look around awkwardly. To Barney and Robin´s relieve, Ellie is coming back.

"OMG….NOOOOOO. Is this Ellie? You´ve grown up so much", Lily screams, getting some tears in her eyes.

"Uhhhh, yes, I´m Ellie."

"It´s me! Aunt Lily and this is Uncle Marshall! I know it´s been such long time, but we´ve spent much time together years ago!"

"Ohhh right. Dad talks about you sometimes. Nice to see you."

"Awwww, Barney, she´s adorable.", Lily says.

"So you´re happy family now, or what?", Marshall suddenly breaks his silence.

"Yes, of course. Ellie and I are very happy.", Barney answers in a warning tone.

"Yeah, you and Ellie and Robin. How great for you. Does Ted know?"

"What are you talking about?", Robin asks.

"Oh come on, Robin. Don´t act stupid. Not long ago, Ted has called me. He told me you are back together with him. He sounded so happy and now you´re sitting here with Barney? Are you serious? Is this triangle starting again? How can you betray Ted like that?"

"Oh my god, did Ted send a newsletter to all people we know?", Robin responds angrily.

"I think you´re in the wrong place to make accusations now, Robin. You´re the one who is betraying Ted!"

"Not that it´s any of your business, but I´m not with Ted, so I´m not betraying him! Who the hell do you think you are Marshall? We haven´t talked since the last dinner at your place- and that´s a while ago. And as far as I know you haven´t seen Barney for a long time either. So what about a "hello, good to see you first" before you act all grumpy and accuse me of things I haven´t done!", Robin shouts at a startled Marshall.

"Wow, wow guys. Calm down. What about us sitting down, eating a nice meal and talk about our lives before we start fighting in front of all people!", Lily tries to calm down her husband and her former best friend.

"I thought you needed some alone time. Now you want to sit with us?", Barney says.

"Oh come on. What is wrong with all of you? Have I missed something? Since when are we all fighting and are mean to each other?" Lily sits down without waiting for permission. Marshall does the same though he doesn´t seem too happy about it.

"Woah, you really do seem to like each other. I see why you were best friends", Ellie is the first to speak as they are all sitting.

"Ellie, don´t be so sarcastic", Barney orders her.

Lily chuckles, "Uh, Barney, the strict dad. That´s weird. I thought you would be more the kind of fun dad."

"I AM a fun dad. I am an awesome dad."

"He is", Ellie answers smiling a wide grin, "though he is a little bit too over-protective sometimes. He thinks some bad guys will catch me."

"It´s only for your best, Ellie."

"I´m ten years old, Dad."

"The world is full of mean guys and cheaters, honey."

"Yeah, if anybody knows, it´s your dad", Marshall says.

"Oh come on. Not in front of my daughter, Marshall", Barney stops him kind of annoyed.

"Yeah, Marshall. I have to agree with Barney. Just stop this now", Lily agrees, "Is it too much to ask to have a nice dinner with our best friends?"

"But Ted is not here", Marshall stays stubborn.

As all look at him angrily (except of Ellie, she is pretty confused) and don´t say a word, Marshall stops with his grumpy behavior.

They order some food and eat while talking about what has been going on in their lives. Though they talk mostly about unimportant stuff and avoid talking about Ted and why Robin and Barney are at this restaurant together, they have a nice time. Though Marshall was pretty quiet at first, he forgets his grudge after a while and becomes chatty. They laugh with each other and Ellie enjoys their company and joins in their conversations.

When it´s about 10 o´clock, Barney says, "Okay, guys. I´m sorry, but we have to go now. Ellie has to go to bed."

"Oh come on, Dad- it´s only.."

"No, Ellie, you have school tomorrow. We are going now."

Robin doesn´t know what to do now. Should she go with Barney and Ellie? Marshall would definitely catch on on this and start with his accusations again.

"The others could go with us", Ellie proposes.

"You have to go to sleep, Ellie. You couldn´t talk to them anyways while snoring"

"DAD", Ellie says embarrassed, "I´m not snoring. And I meant they could come, so YOU can talk to them. You seem to have a lot to talk about and I don't want to be the reason that you miss that opportunity.

"Hell, you have such a wise girl, Barney", Lily smiles.

"Okay, if you want to. Do you want to come to my place?"

"Yes, sure", Lily answers.

So they all go back to Barney´s and Ellie´s.

Ellie is going to sleep soon and Marshall, Lily, Robin and Barney make themselves comfortable in the living room. They drink some Scotch and eat some chips and continue their light-hearted talking, at least until Marshall asks the inevitable, "So, what´s going on here?"


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Finished a new chapter. Woohooo! Hope you like it- Enjoy!**

"Oh come on, don´t ask stupid. Since when are you meeting again?"

"It´s a long story", Robin interrupted, it´s pretty clearly she isn´t so excited talking about this.

"I have a lot of time", he glances at Lily, "we have a lot of time"

"Marshall, please can´t you just let it go?", even Lily is annoyed by Marshall now.

"I want to know what the fuck has happened! I don´t get anymore. Ted saw Robin, they were a couple, she slept with Barney, Barney and her get together, they get married, they get divorced, Ted marries Tracy, Tracy dies, Robin is flying around the world, she comes back to New York, she starts dating Ted again, Ted is happy, we come to New York and we see with…. Great surprise, not Ted, but Barney! I´m sorry when I´m confused!"

"You don´t seem that confused. Has been a pretty nice summary of all the events happening", Robin snaps.

Marshall eyes her with a "don´t-talk-to-me-like-this-young-lady-face" and Robin gives in.

"Ted came to me with the blue French horn again, I felt flattered and let him in. I´m back in New York and I feel pretty alone now, you know? And I thought getting back together with Ted isn´t the worst idea. He loved me all those years and I thought it´s better than ending up alone getting eaten by my dogs when I die. But then I got doubts and Ted proposed to me – I should´ve known, he pulled a typical Mosby- and I kind of broke up with him. Though you can´t call that break-up because we weren´t together really. We haven´t even had sex!"

"Still doesn´t explain why you are hooking up with Barney again"

"Okay, first of all: nobody said or did anything about hooking up! I came to him because I just wanted to meet him. I haven´t seen him in such a long time"

Though Lily hasn´t seen her best friend in years, she knows exactly that Robin keeps some details from them. But she keeps her mouth shut in order to not heat the already burning talking up.

"So you´re not together?" Marshall asks.

"No, we´re not! We didn´t cheat on your holy saint Teddy boy", Barney says through gritted teeth.

"It´s none of your business, Marshall! In addition to that I wanted to get to know Ellie"

"You didn´t care much about Ellie the last years, haven´t you?", Marshall answers her, ignoring Barney´s mad behavior.

"You know what, Marshall- Robin is right. It´s none of your business. You didn't care much about Ellie either, or me. You all have been very talented in shutting me out of your lives", Barney says.

"Oh come on. We always invited you to our dinners….."

"Oh, shut up, Marshall. You invited me because you had to but not because you wanted me there."

"Okay- ENOUGH! What is wrong with you guys? Why is everybody so bitter? We used to be best friends!"

"No Ted and Marshall were best friends", Barney imitated in a high-pitched voice.

"ENOUGH!" , Lily shouted again.

"You know what?", Barney is fuming now, "YOU guys are in MY apartment. So stop screaming around. I dare you to wake my daughter up. Fact is, I have always been the left out in our group. I have always been the bad guy, no matter what I did. I don´t want to hold this against you, but I just want to remind me that I brought you two back together in the first place. Yes, okay, you were disgusted about my plays and how I treated women. But I´ve never ever been a bad friend. You can´t say this about me!"

"Oh really? So you haven´t taken Robin away from Ted.", Marshall grunts.

"IF YOU DARE TO SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME I WILL NEVER EVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN, MARSHALL!", Robin screams. This sentence made her loose her nerves. "Remember one point, my dear, I AM NOT A FUCKING THING one man can take from another. I´m not someone´s toy! Did it ever come to your mind that Barney didn´t take me away, but that I went to him because I FUCKING WANTED TO! Not because I wanted to cheat on Ted, what is irrational because I´m not, I say it again NOT HIS PROPERTY. Because of you, I had a bad conscience after sleeping with Barney. But guess what? Not because I didn´t want to or because he tricked me in some sick play or anything, no because you made me feel like I deceived Ted. Of course, I understand, Ted might was shocked, but seriously- we weren´t a couple at this point. And even if Barney break the bro-code or something, it wasn´t him alone. I´m as guilty as he is. No wait- guilty is the wrong word- I was as involved as he was. Period."

The three of them stare at Robin. They haven´t expected such an explosion of emotions. They all sit silent. Marshall looking at his shoes, feeling ashamed, Lily kind of touched by the speech and Barney- well Barney is impressed. It´s been one thing hearing it from her when they have been alone, but in front of Marshall and Lily- that was huge! She stands by him and though he always appreciated her independence, he always thought she could be more independent concerning her friends´ opinion. He almost feels like back after they found out about their secret summer. Robin had such a crush on him and was horny all the time and didn´t care about what Lily, Ted or Marshall said. They were free. Things changed when they started to feel miserable. Their marriage of course has been another chapter, but though she committed to him, he still felt Robin was more on their friends´ side. Robin´s cheeks are red because she got so heated when talking. It was kind of weird, but she also feels somehow released. She loves Marshall and Lily and even though Lily stood behind her and Barney´s relationship most of the time, she always felt she had to explain herself why she loves Barney. They never seemed to see the good sides of Barney as her, so she didn´t talk to them about it most of the time in order to not to feel silly.

"We should go", Lily finally says. Before Marshall can protest, she takes his hand and drags him with her. "I´m sorry if we cause you any trouble, Barney. Maybe we could see each other anytime soon again? Maybe when all of you guys are calm again. We will have dinner together. Or what about a shopping trip, Robin? We have a lot to catch up on", Lily says in an excusing and conciliatory way.

"Yes, of course we can", Robin manages a small smile.

"Don´t worry, Lil. I´m sorry it had to end this way tonight. I would ask you to stay longer, but I´m tired and I have a huge headache from all the excitement and screaming, so.."

"It´s okay, Barney. Most of the night was really nice. I had a lovely time. It was good to see you again. Have a good night"

"Good night", Barney and Robin answer in unison.

Marshall, apparently having a bad conscience, says before closing the door and heading home with Lily, "Good night, guys. It was a nice surprise to see you today.", He pats Barney on the shoulder and gives Robin a hug. She lets it happen, but doesn´t answer the hug. She waves a goodbye and Marshall and Lily go.

Robin stays behind. She should go too, but she doesn´t want to leave after that night without talking to Barney alone.

"Sorry that I caused you so much trouble, Barney."

"You? You have been the only one of the adults tonight that didn´t cause me any trouble." , Barney smiles unsure if he should say the following words, but he just takes the risk and says them, "I had a fun night after all and that´s because of you. Thank you for standing up to me. It was kind of …..uhm…nice to have someone who defends me against them. Also, I know you married me and everything, but it was nice to hear you stand by your choice and don´t feel guilty about it. I mean about the night we slept together… um the first time, I mean."

Robin loves it when Barney acts all shy and cute. She always liked bad boys but they can´t compare to Barney´s soft side when he lets his sweet sides out.

"I don´t feel guilty about our marriage either. That has never been in doubt. That was so long after Ted. I´m just sorry you got to know I had said I want to run away with Ted on my wedding day. It had been the jitters, but as soon as I had talked to you my doubts were away. And when I kissed and hugged you, I forgot all about Ted. Basically, I forgot about all the other people in the world."

Barney grins, "Don´t be cheesy, Scherbatsky. I don´t know you like that." He winks.

"I´m not cheesy, I´m being honest.", Robin smiles back, "I made a lot of mistakes over the years but marrying you has never been one of them." Robin gulps and her heart races. To say the following words costs her a lot of strength, "but maybe the divorce was one. You know, uhhhm, a mistake?"

Barney smiles, but his cockiness is away. His heart starts beating. Damn, will the feelings for this women ever go away? Maybe not, he thinks. It has been true what he said to her years ago: He couldn't stop loving her anymore than he could stop breathing. The only thing he could do was trying to forget her, bring all the stuff away that remind him of her. But he will never get rid of the memories that are flashing through his mind when he looks in those beautiful eyes.

Barney eyes get wide, when Robin moves closer to him. She places her hand on his chest and looks him in his eyes deeply. Their mouths get closer, when they suddenly get interrupted,

"Aunt Robin was the woman you married and left you broken-hearted?", Ellie asks shocked when she comes out of her room. She didn´t sleep, instead of that she overheard every word.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: New chapter (more like a filler one). Enjoy!**

**(And only for SwarklesFan55: I tried not to end it with a cliffhanger this time ;-) )**

Robin blinks hastily, „I gotta go."

"Bye", Barney says and ruffles his hair.

As soon as the door closes, Barney turns to his daughter. "Why are you still up?"

"Oh come on. You haven´t been quiet, you know? I heard you and the other ones screaming. I also heard Aunt Robin´s outburst. Suddenly it was quiet, I thought all of them were gone. But as it was too quiet then and so I looked if you are okay. All I saw was you and Robin. I heard every word she said."

"Listen, I´m sorry that you couldn´t fall asleep because of us, but now, you should go to bed, honey."

"I think I need a story to be told until I can sleep. Maybe a story about….hm….I don´t know. A man with blonde hair and blue eyes and a beautiful brunette who broke up because of certain circumstances…."

"Well played, young lady. Go to bed. You have school tomorrow. You won´t be able to concentrate when you don´t go now."

"But…."  
"NOW!"

Ellie rolls her eyes, turns around and slams her door. "Good Night", Barney screams after her, but she doesn´t answer.

"Great, she´s mad", Barney thinks. But he can´t talk to her about him and Robin. She´s only ten, she wouldn´t understand. In addition to that she would only be hurt if he and Robin fight again. Ellie really seems to like her, but he doesn´t want her to be hurt when Robin is leaving again. And that´s what Robin always does, he thinks. He knows from experience him and Robin won´t work out. If there were no Ellie involved, he would have jumped Robin immediately, but this way… He has no idea what to do. Robin seems to be attracted to him- still, after all these years. But he knows her too well. Robin may think she can´t have him and has a lobster-revertigo. He is sure, if he and Robin rekindle their relationship, he will be hurt. Not only he, but Ellie too. If only it wasn´t Robin he is thinking about. Robin is his weak point. He told her years ago, he isn´t thinking about her that way anymore, but she surely has understood that wrong. She called him Daddy – and he meant he isn´t thinking about her anymore in the "dirty, little girl who needs to be punished- way", but in a "I have a daughter now, I have realized how important a family is. Ellie is so exhausting sometimes, but I love her so much, so I keep caring for her. I should have done the same for you. It was exhausting travelling all around the world and I hated how you pushed me away, but I shouldn´t have given up on us. I should have continued fighting for our marriage." But Barney knows, Robin thinks it meant "I´m not sexually attracted to you anymore" – it´s just so not what he meant. He still thinks she´s beautiful (though her haircut is weird right now).

A text message pulls him out of his thoughts. It´s Robin.

_Sorry, Barney. Hope everything is okay. I didn´t want to leave u all alone with Ellie, but I thought it´s better when u talk 2 her alone. I don´t want her 2 think I´m interrupting in your father-daughter relationship. I don´t want 2 b one of dad´s girlfriends everybody hates. hope u´re not mad. And I thought as the weekend is coming up, we could hang out together again. _

Barney smiles. He likes it that Robin seems to care about Ellie too. He answers:

_No need to be sorry. She went to bed now- for real this time. At least I hope so. ;) She´s a good girl most of the time, but sometimes she loves to get on my nerves with not going to bed. Yeah, we could- but only if there´s less drama this time._

The answer comes immediately

_Hahaha okay, I´ll try to push all the drama away xD_

_Awesome. Night ;)_, he answers

_Good night, Barnman!_

_Barnman says goodnight back to Robin!_

He smiles sheepishly. She manages to put a smile on his face every time. And to have his legs like jelly and the butterflies flying like crazy in his stomach. Maybe there is still a chance for them? After all, she still wants to see him at the weekend.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: Not really happy about this chapter, but I didn´t want to let you wait any longer. Enjoy anyways!**

Ellie is really grumpy the next morning- obviously due to a lack of sleep. Barney drives her to school and goes to his work afterwards.

When he and Ellie are home again, Barney asks her about a new meeting with Robin. She agrees happily and this time it´s Barney who calls Robin. They settle for a date (or meeting as the two of them prefer to call it) for Sunday.

The date on Sunday goes pretty well. They grab some Chinese food and head to the cinema. The movie, though for children, is very funny actually. This time, Robin has to head home and has no time to come back with Barney and Ellie to their place because she has to finish a story for WWN until Monday.

The following days Barney and Robin have not much time to meet each other, but they text regularly. The texts get more flirty with time and they are falling back to their old ways. They become real friends again – friends who clearly want something more, but time and also Ellie don´t allow them to be alone, let alone getting closer.

Not until about 2 months later.

All of it starts when Ellie catches a bad cold and gets fever. Due to that she can´t go to school, but Barney has to work. He has a very important meeting that day and his boss would kill him if he skips on it. As he doesn´t want her to be home alone all sick and Ellie refuses to have a nanny since she´s 8 years old, he only sees one possibility: he calls Robin. Robin has taken some holidays this week to finish a huge report.

"Hey Robs, how are you?"

"Oh Barney, hi!", Robin answers the call happily. She´s just happy, he can´t see her right now. A huge grin spreads on her face and she blushes when he calls her Robs, "Nice that you are calling. What´s up?"

"Actually, I wanted you to do me a favor…."

"Oh…", Robin is disappointed. She was delighted when he called, because HE is finally making a move, not vice versa. But as it seems, he isn´t calling because he wants to hear her voice or asking for a date.

"Look, I have a big problem. I have a very important meeting today and I´m forced to go there. Unfortunately, Ellie got sick, but I don´t want her to lie in bed all day long all by herself, especially not when she´s sick. So, as you don´t have to go to work today, I thought you could have an eye on Ellie maybe."

Robin stutters, "But, ummmm Barney I don´t know. Me and kids… all alone. I don´t think that´s a good idea."

"Robin, please. I beg you, just today! This isn´t about you and kids, but about you and Ellie. She loves you and I thought you adore her too."

"I do, Barney. She´s an awesome girl and I love her, but we´ve never done something together. It´s always been the three of us. I don´t know what to do, what to say."

"Robin, she´s sick. She will sleep the whole day anyway. You just have to check on her once in a while. You even can continue your story. Just take your laptop and feel like home at my place. I only want someone to be there if her temperature gets higher or she needs some food."

"Barney….."

"Look, I don´t want to force you, but you would do me a great favor!"

"Okay, I think I can do it for a day. But please don´t kill me if I do anything wrong."

"Thank you, Robin. I mean it: thank you so so much. I don´t even know how to thank you properly."

"Ohhhhh, I could think of a proper way", Robin thinks, "oh my god, my dirty mind"

"Robin?"

"Yesss, still there."

"I could invite you to dinner…"

"No, you don´t have to. I´m doing it for you and Ellie."

Barney chuckles, "Yeah, yeah, right. That´s sweet, Robin, but I will invite you. You can think of a restaurant you want to go to while you´re watching Ellie."

"Okay, thanks. I will." She smiles.

**PLEASE READ:**

**Hey guys! Just a short announcement: I´m going on holidays in july, therefore I can´t update much. I have written two new chapters already and will post them in the course of july, but there won´t be anymore this month. I will update more often in August. Hope all of you guys will have a nice summer.**

**Thanks for reading! (Please read and review anyway - would make my holiday an even happier time)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello guys! As said, I'm on holiday, so chapters only come slowly, but here is a new one! The next one is longer again, but until then- read and Review this chapter please. Thank you3**

**hope everybody has a nice summer**

Half an hour later, Robin steps into Barney´s and Ellie´s place.

"Hey, Robin. Thank you so much! You´re an angel", Barney hugs her wildly, clearly relieved she agreed to look after Ellie today.

"No problem. At least I hope so. You should take all your important stuff with you, in case I blow the house up or something."

"Awwwww, I would, but Ellie and you can´t come with me and the other stuff can burn", he winks.

She smiles sheepishly, when Ellie appears. "Hey, sweetie!", Robin greets the girl.

"Hey, Aunt Robin. Thank you for coming. Though I think dad is overreacting again. I can care for myself."

"What are you doing? You should stay in bed, you know that!" Barney says reprehensively.

"I wanted to go to the toilet, but if you prefer me wetting my bed, just tell me."

"Not in that tone, young lady", Barney grins at her.

She goes to the toilet, Barney and Robin just stand there waiting for her. When she is back, Barney asks, "So, can I leave you ladies alone now or do you need anything?"

"I can´t think of anything", Robin answers

"Me neither. I just want to go back to bed and sleep forever."

"Okay great", Barney kisses Ellie on her forehead and whispers a "Get well" and "Behave" in her ears. He claps Robin on the shoulder and before leaving he mouths a "Thank you" to Robin.

As soon as the door closes, Ellie takes Robin´s hand and leads her to her room.

"You have a nice room, Ellie."

"Thank you", Ellie answers while crawling back into her bed. "You don´t have to stay under the doorframe, come in. You can sit on my bed."

Robin moves over to Ellie and sits on the bed, smiling at her, but feeling really weird, because she doesn´t know what to say or do now.

"Well, I´m sick, but I don´t bite you know?"

"Hmmmm?", Robin asks confused?

"You can come closer. You don´t have to sit on the edge of the bed"

"Okay", Robin crawls into the bed lying down next to Ellie. While doing that she thinks ´gosh, please don´t infect me, I can´t stay away from work´ - she hates herself for that, because Ellie is so sweet and everything, but still.

"You smell really good, Aunt Robin."

"Are you hitting on me, girl?", Robin laughs.

"No", Ellie laughs too. "I just think you smell good. Like a mom."

"I smell like a mom? Wouldn´t that mean smelling like puke and diapers?"

"No", Ellie breaks out in laughter, when her cough interrupts the sweet girly laugh.

"I wish I´d have someone with a mom-smell at my side every day", Ellie whispers.

"Oh come on, honey. Your dad smells more amazing than any mom could ever be."

Ellie stares at her and Robin realizes what she just said. `Oh my god, what´s wrong with me? Did I really just say to a 10-year-old-kid that her dad smells good? Well done, Scherbatsky, for implying you sniff at her dad´, Robin thinks to herself while blushing.

"I…. I didn´t mean you…because…. I… your….. dad…. He seems like a guy who smells good."

"Aunt Robin, I´m sorry, but you make no sense"

"Okay, then let´s do us both a favor and talk about anything else."

Ellie doesn´t answer and cuddles to Robin. She wraps her little arms around Robin´s left arm and closes her eyes. "I think I´ll sleep now, Aunt Robin."

"Okay, honey", Robin wants to stand up, but Ellie doesn´t let her go.

"Could you please stay until I fall asleep?"

"Uhmmm, yes, I guess."

Robin lies down again, Ellie is curling up next to her. It doesn´t take long until Ellie´s breath grows heavier and regularly. Robin watches the sweet girl while sleeping. While doing that a pleasant warm feeling spreads in her- but at the same time she also has a lump in her throat. And though she would never admit it to anyone, there clearly is a tear in her eye when she watches the girl. Barney´s little girl. His sweet daughter. The girl that should be Barney´s and hers.


End file.
